Another Writing/Cancer support group essay, done earlier today.
Loves, romantic or otherwise
The story of how I found out I was in love with Carolyn.
Carolyn and I were in the same class for smart kids in junior high school and in high school. Socially, Carolyn was a normal girl. She went on dates, to dances, stuff like that. I, on the other hand, was a bit delayed in my social development. Part of the reason was that I wasn’t very big, or athletic, and I didn’t think girls would be interested in me. Partly, I was a year younger than other kids in my class, and I didn’t think girls liked to go out with boys who didn’t have a drivers license, something I didn’t get until well into my senior year in high school
So I didn’t really start dating until my first year in college. But I went to an all boys college so I didn’t know many girls. We had mixers with nearby girls colleges, and I’d go to them, but I wasn’t much of a dancer, and the few girls I actually met at mixers were, once I got to know them, frankly, uninteresting to talk to. So, on the Christmas vacation, I called up a few of the girls from that class for smart kids that I was in in high school. I got dates with two of them, Carolyn and Ricki, who happened to be best friends.
Apparently, it’s not smart to date girls who are best friends with each other, but I was fairly clueless back then, probably still am, and I didn’t know that. We all lived in Baltimore. Carolyn was going to college in Pittsburgh. I was in college in Baltimore and was commuting. Ricki went to the University of Maryland and sometimes came home on weekends. So there I was, dating both of them.
They weren’t like the ordinary girls I met at mixers. These two were smart. They were fun. When Carolyn was home from school, I’d date her. Other times I’d date Ricki. They didn’t have the Internet back then. We had letters, delivered by the post office, if you can believe such primitive means of communication. Carolyn would write to me, and to Ricki, and Ricki and I would discuss the letters we’d gotten from Carolyn.
At one point, when I wanted to get a bit romantic with Ricki, she pointed out to me that she and I were just friends, and that I was in love with Carolyn. So I asked her how she figured that out, and she told me that she could tell by how I’d talk about Carolyn when we were on dates. I thought about that, and admitted that she might be right. But I wasn’t sure, yet. So, during college I dated other girls when Carolyn was out of town, but I began to notice that whenever Carolyn was back in town, I’d try to monopolize her time for dates.
That would work OK during holidays, but not so well during the summer. One of my friends, Steve, started dating Carolyn, and that made me pretty jealous. Finally, I figured it out. I suggested we become engaged the summer after we graduated from college in order to convince her to go to grad school in Baltimore rather than in Boston. That worked. I hadn’t been quite aware that becoming engaged kind of meant you were supposed to actually get married somewhat sooner than after you get your doctorate, but she pointed it out to me, and that worked, too. And here we are, 43 years later, still doing stuff together, including oddly enough, getting cancer together.
Loves, romantic or otherwise
The story of how I found out I was in love with Carolyn.
Carolyn and I were in the same class for smart kids in junior high school and in high school. Socially, Carolyn was a normal girl. She went on dates, to dances, stuff like that. I, on the other hand, was a bit delayed in my social development. Part of the reason was that I wasn’t very big, or athletic, and I didn’t think girls would be interested in me. Partly, I was a year younger than other kids in my class, and I didn’t think girls liked to go out with boys who didn’t have a drivers license, something I didn’t get until well into my senior year in high school
So I didn’t really start dating until my first year in college. But I went to an all boys college so I didn’t know many girls. We had mixers with nearby girls colleges, and I’d go to them, but I wasn’t much of a dancer, and the few girls I actually met at mixers were, once I got to know them, frankly, uninteresting to talk to. So, on the Christmas vacation, I called up a few of the girls from that class for smart kids that I was in in high school. I got dates with two of them, Carolyn and Ricki, who happened to be best friends.
Apparently, it’s not smart to date girls who are best friends with each other, but I was fairly clueless back then, probably still am, and I didn’t know that. We all lived in Baltimore. Carolyn was going to college in Pittsburgh. I was in college in Baltimore and was commuting. Ricki went to the University of Maryland and sometimes came home on weekends. So there I was, dating both of them.
They weren’t like the ordinary girls I met at mixers. These two were smart. They were fun. When Carolyn was home from school, I’d date her. Other times I’d date Ricki. They didn’t have the Internet back then. We had letters, delivered by the post office, if you can believe such primitive means of communication. Carolyn would write to me, and to Ricki, and Ricki and I would discuss the letters we’d gotten from Carolyn.
At one point, when I wanted to get a bit romantic with Ricki, she pointed out to me that she and I were just friends, and that I was in love with Carolyn. So I asked her how she figured that out, and she told me that she could tell by how I’d talk about Carolyn when we were on dates. I thought about that, and admitted that she might be right. But I wasn’t sure, yet. So, during college I dated other girls when Carolyn was out of town, but I began to notice that whenever Carolyn was back in town, I’d try to monopolize her time for dates.
That would work OK during holidays, but not so well during the summer. One of my friends, Steve, started dating Carolyn, and that made me pretty jealous. Finally, I figured it out. I suggested we become engaged the summer after we graduated from college in order to convince her to go to grad school in Baltimore rather than in Boston. That worked. I hadn’t been quite aware that becoming engaged kind of meant you were supposed to actually get married somewhat sooner than after you get your doctorate, but she pointed it out to me, and that worked, too. And here we are, 43 years later, still doing stuff together, including oddly enough, getting cancer together.
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